Keep Calm and Celebrate 1434

The new year has set in. Now is the year 1434 in the Islamic Calendar and it will be public holiday when I wake up later for fajr. Happy New Year to all Muslims. May this new year bring for us a better year, with better experiences and better love and respect for all humanity. Ameen!

How did I celebrate it? I was at Ayesha’s earlier on and had a mini celebration with her kids, exchanging gifts etc and Nandos meals. As on the day itself is a public holiday, my family and I plan to catch more films at the European Film Festival. The Muslim Calendar was set upon the year of the migration of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and each year when the new year sets in, we are often reminded to ponder upon the theme of migration. Physical migration, emotional migration, mental migration and spiritual migration. Migration from one area to another, for the betterment of oneself.

This new year brings on a new meaning for me personally. I would like to migrate from a negative feeling which had plagued me like a disease these last few months. In a gist, I had experienced some unpleasant times with someone who treated me real bad. So bad that my family and friends who witnessed it got angry with me for allowing that someone to continue treating me with utter disrespect and disregard that I was almost nonchalant about the brazen behavior of this person.

In my defense, my stand was always clear. I cannot and should not get angry because I do not want to stoop to that level. When the Prophet Muhammad was asked on how one can be a good Muslim, he replied ‘ Do not be angry.’ He was asked again the same question and he repeated ‘ Do not be angry’ and he was asked for the third time, he repeated the same answer ‘ Do not be angry.’ This person had better thanked her lucky stars that I am a Muslim and I hope to practice and take my faith seriously. Because the way she treated me, had I been less faithful in Islam, the behavior warrants nothing less than a tight slap on the face.

However, with each passing day, I battled myself to stifle my anger, frustrations, annoyance, sadness, disappointment and faced the person with a smiling face despite whatever attitude thrown in my direction. With each bad attitude the person threw me, I forced myself to be twice kinder. So much so that one day I lamented to my husband… “Haiyoh, it is so difficult to be a Muslim, if we cannot be angry and have to show kindness all the time even to people who are nasty to us sey!!!” Sometimes to suppress my anger, I cried hot angry tears to sleep– since I took a break from Aikido and couldn’t let it out during training. It became very trying and tiring. One day, I just gave up and refused to deal with this person anymore. There is a difference between being patient and being a fool. There is a thin line in between those two. Being patient with trials given by God is admirable. Being patient with someone who makes use of you, just being nice when he/she needs something from you and then ignore you like you are invisible– is plain stupidity. I chose to let go of the person.

Despite that, I believe that everyone can change for the better. My parting shot with that person was: should he/she needs my help in the future, I am always around to help. ( I surprised myself for saying this, considering how shitty this person treated me). I resolved that I could not and should not just think about myself only. (Otherwise I would simply do the Neng Yatimah “Nyah kau dari siniiii!” heh). I reminded myself that I am a Muslim and my faith forbids us from cutting ties with anyone and to always represent the faith in the best possible manner. You see lah! How difficult it is to be a Muslim?! Need to throw negative people out of your life also need to do it in the most beautiful way. Even if the person had put words into my mouth and had told stories which aren’t accurate, I still need to ‘break away’ in the finest manner. Blergh. Oh Allah, what test you have bestowed upon my weak soul! :S

When I thought all things are settled, two emails from two individuals came in defense of the person who had hurt me, without hearing my side of the coin on what really happened. NOT ONCE was I asked what actually happened. And it hurts damn hard and it cuts through me like a sharp knife.

So I then made the decision, just before the coming of the new year, that I want to migrate. I would like to migrate from this issue and not deal with it anymore. I do not wish to be in contact with anyone pertaining to this issue from now on and I would like to quietly make a closure and make a mental and emotional migration from it all. Hey, it’s the new year. It’s the new migration year, mate. I don’t want to spoil it (and my public holiday) feeling unhappy. Enough is enough, aye?

I hope the new year will be fantastic for everyone and I have learnt a great deal from in the last few months.

Wait, what did I learn? Let’s see.

1. I learnt that you do not always reap what you sow, but keep on sowing anyway especially if what you are sowing is kindness.

2. Always tell the truth and be transparent.

3. Always forgive.

4. Don’t be stupid and let people make use of you.

5. Always put faith before self. If I had put myself before my faith, I could play my nasty self and give back the crap in double doses. Maann, I was a teacher in Singapore, we are foolhardy like that in giving crap for crap with our students and their parents. But carrying the honour of the faith, I am shackled and tied by all means and ways not to retaliate, but instead forced to show nothing but kindness. Again, that person better thank her lucky stars that my faith means a lot to me.

6. Keep Calm and Let Go. Some things are just not worth yours/my time.

7. Don’t be angry. Don’t be angry. Don’t be angry (hadith of the Prophet Muhammad pbuh)

8. Chocolala is very delicious. Chocolala is a new brand of boutique chocolates from UAE and although the brand sounds a bit bimbo-ish, the product is really good, almost on par with Royce and Godiva. I discovered Chocolala these last three months as I was always under a lot of stress and my friend Melati, whose husband works in Abu Dhabi brings Chocolala in for me as my stress management mechanism.

This new year, my song for the moment is M.Nasir’s Phoenix Bangkit. Salam Ma’al Hijrah everyone! I pray all the goodness for this world and the hereafter for all. Ameen!

Phoenix Bangkit

Bina jambatan menuju ke seberang
Melangkah jurang lebar dan dalam
Dengan darah dan keringat
Dengan airmata berpegang pada taliNya

Rapatkan saf semangatmu jangan goyah
Kota yang telah roboh harus dibina semula
Atas dasar kebenaran demi kita demi waris
Semua serangan yang datang kita tangkis

Jangan kau gentar pada bayang-bayang sendiri
Di sebalik pahit getir kemenangan menanti
Bagaikan burung Phoenix bangkit dari abu
Bangkit membina satu keindahan..baru

Phoenix bangkit
Bina jambatan menuju keseberang
Dengan darah keringat dan airmata oh…
Melangkah ke seberang ke tanah yang dijanjikan
Dirindukan
Demi cinta tiada lain.. demi cinta..

Jangan kau gentar pada bayang-bayang sendiri
Di sebalik pahit getir kemenangan menanti

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