Scary Mary

So it’s the Halloween week, which thanks to global Americanisation, we see ghostly consumerism on the Asian streets from Singapore to KL to Jakarta, celebrating the pagan festival, which I don’t think any of these kids have any idea what it was all about.

I find it scary though, not the paganism, not the ghouls nor the witches in costumes. Those were adorable by the way, especially on little toddlers. What is scary, is the fact a regular pack of M&M made a whopping jump from being a mere Rm 2.30 to Rm 4.99 just because the word Halloween is there, coupled with a cute white ghost (ghost look like that, meh?) and suddenly, it makes it all ok to double and triple the candy prices. And silly people like me, are silly enough to be conned into buying, year after year, just because it’s cute, although I could have sworn for a million years it tastes the same, despite its claim of being ‘Halloween Special Edition’. Crap. I swear consumerism is a spell. Siapa punya bomoh agaknya ni.. Heh

Anyway, with this theme of ‘scary things’, I had a discussion with my friends about what scares us the most. Ok initially everyone had the same answer, all along the same line of the fear for the wrath of God, which is like common sense. So other than that, what are the most scary things that we fear? The answers ranged from losing their children, losing their spouses, cancer, terrible accident which can leave them deformed etc.

I thought for quite a bit before I contributed. When I was young, the scariest thing was the ‘Hantu kom kom/Hantu t*t*k saga in the kampung, legends which were meant to scare us little kids in the 70s and early 80s. Maaan, those were scary in those days. So I quoted that. Then my next contribution is driving in Malaysia. On that note, to those who knew I went to take my driving lesen course last year, I have not passed yet, hor? Long story, don’t ask why but yeah I find it super scary driving with a whole bunch of ‘dunno-how-they-got-their-lesen’drivers (actually I know. Those who didn’t pass, some instructors offered to sell the lesen under the table. I was offered but I refused to buy and cursed my instructor. Eh did I actually tell the long story? Yeah I did).

My last contribution ( we were supposed to name 3) was facing up to our mistakes, admitting our mistakes without giving one single excuse or reason or rationalisation or whatever lame crap there is, but to say I made a mistake, I am sorry, I take ownership to it and I will rectify it. And to apologise deeply and really mean it to the person we have wronged. Or, along the same line, listening to someone in plain simple language tell us of our character blind spot, our weaknesses and not get defensive or again, come up with lame defensive excuses or reasons, but to quietly say, yes, that is my character weakness, I will reflect, look into it and work on it.

Damn scary right? But I have met some really brave souls who are brave enough for this. Some of them are our shaykhs and our Sensei-s. It takes a helluva lot of courage to accept with humility, when pointed out our character failures. Most of us are lame people, always quick to spew lame excuses to defend our mistakes and weaknesses. I am still working towards finding this courage. My husband, teachers and Sensei are helping me through it. Hopefully, once it becomes a habit, it won’t be so scary anymore.

My friends grew pensive after my last contribution. They said, ‘eh why we never thought of it eh?’ So I said of course we never think about it lah… This is the matter of the ego. Ego tak suka dengar benda-benda yang burst its bubble liao…

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